You'll never have it all figured out before you go, but having planned
together will give you a strong foundation.
Is she the type of person who needs ten books to make a decision? Is he
the type who packs a snakebite kit and a GPS for a walk around the block?
You'll make mistakes, plans will go awry, you'll get frustrated with one
another, so a sense of humor is essential.
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Ten Travel Tips for Couples
by Allen Noren, author
of Storm
A Lebanese friend of mine once said that there are two ways to really get to
know someone: Go through a war with them or travel together. I've never been
through a war, though I have traveled quite a lot, both solo and as a couple,
and I think there is some truth to what my friend said. With that in mind,
I've written ten tips that have helped me and my partner to travel
successfully as a couple for extended periods.
- Are you both interested in the same kind of travel? From the
comfort of a living room, travel is a gauzy, wildly romantic notion made less
clear by glossy pictures and the miles-high perspective of a map. Travel
from this vantage is appealing to almost everyone. However, the realities of
a long journey will test even the most seasoned couple. Make sure that you
and your partner enjoy the same kind of travel. One person may want to spend
three months bicycling across China while the other wants nothing more than
to spend two weeks relaxing on a tropical beach.
- Plan your trips together. Both parties have to invest themselves
in the trip. Choose the destination together and the time of year you'll go.
Read everything you can get your hands on. Histories and the accounts of those
who have gone before you will supply a rich context for your journey. Read
together (one of life's most intimate pleasures is reading aloud to the one
you love) and talk about what you've read. What one person considers trivial
(Malaria? No problem.) may be of great concern to the other. How will you
handle mosquitoes and high humidity for weeks on end? And what of the cold?
Language barriers? You'll never have it all figured out before you go, but
having planned together will give you a strong foundation.
- Take a trial run. If bicycling across China is what you've decided
upon, you'd better take a trial run at home. Take all the equipment you
think you'll need and try your best to approximate the conditions you'll be
traveling under. If you can't approximate the conditions, talk with people
who have done the same kind of trip. The Web is an excellent resource for
tracking down people who have gone before you.
- A map each. Good maps are expensive, but a map each is a good
investment. There is nothing worse than one person wondering where they are
while the other puzzles over the map in their hands. A map of one's own can
give reassurance. The other person may have the answer, and it's always
better to figure things out together. This is especially good if you're
traveling by foot, bicycle, motorcycle, or kayak.
- Life on the road will bring your partner's idiosyncrasies into high
relief. Is she the type of person who needs ten books to make a decision?
Is he the type who packs a snakebite kit and a GPS for a walk around the
block? I met a distraught English woman on a beach in Indonesia whose
boyfriend had stormed off, sick and tired of her fear of the local food. The
only thing she would eat was baked beans on toast. Her supply of beans was
running low, which meant they had to leave Indonesia. He, on the other hand,
was having the time of his life and had no intention of leaving. The lesson
here is that what was a cute little quirk back home may become a problem on
the road. Your awareness and tolerance of them will make all the difference.
- Take turns deciding what to do next. This is especially important
if one of you is the natural leader. Give your partner days to make all the
decisions about where to go and what to do. Letting him lead the way through
a new city or choose the path for the day's travel is a good change of pace
and an excellent confidence builder. Talking about the decisions he made is
an opportunity to know your partner more fully.
- Take weekends or regular time off. Go on a date. Long journeys
are challenging, and it's important to take weekends or days off just as you
would at home. Plan something completely different on your time off. Go out
to dinner, a concert, a movie, or dancing. Time off is also a good opportunity
to absorb what you've experienced and consider how to proceed.
Read our
Interview with Allen Noren in which
he talks about writing, traveling as a couple, and commitment to a life on
the road.
- Establish routines you can frame each day around. Routines,
like rituals, provide calming, grounding activities. Collecting water,
setting up camp, washing clothes, preparing food, and regular time off are
all simple routines that will ground even the most challenging journey.
- Don't forget to pack your sense of humor. You will need it.
You'll make mistakes, plans will go awry, you'll get frustrated with one
another, so a sense of humor is essential. That anything-is-possible feeling
can be difficult to recall when you're stranded in a drab little town, or
sitting behind a tree on the side of a road with diarrhea, or on a crowded,
humid bus with many miles to go. A sense of humor, and the realization that
you'll get beyond every challenge, will make all the difference.
- Travel will change you. It's a fact; you will shed many skins on
a long journey. With each skin will go old attitudes, assumptions, and
notions. Your partner will also go through this process, and there is no
guarantee that you'll end up in the same place when the journey is over.
My own journey around the Baltic Sea
(Storm: A Motorcycle Journey of Love,
Endurance, and Transformation) brought unforeseen changes to the
life my partner of seven years and I had so carefully built together. This list
would have helped us. I hope it will help you.
Travel well, --Allen Noren
Allen Noren is the author of
Storm: A Motorcycle Journey of Love,
Endurance, and Transformation. He is a veteran of seven extended
journeys and many shorter ones. He's traveled by foot, single-engine
airplane, bicycle, train, car, and kayak, through more than forty countries.
Storm is his first book. He lives in northern California with his
wife and daughter where, at night, they plan their next journey.
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